MZ Riders Club

South of Scotland Section

Page updated : 27/12/2005

Site designed by Mike

Camping For Beginners

Camping at a rally and camping just for the hell of it are two decidedly different animals. They do, however, have the basics in common. If you've never been to an MZ Rally then why not come along to one this summer. You never know, you might get hooked, and think of all that practice that you'll get in before the next Winter Rally - definitely not one for the beginner.

The single most important point to remember is that when devising laws, Murphy probably decided on his on the way back from a bike rally. Anticipate the worst and plan round it. It will rain, it will be windy, it will be cold etc. Assuming that you have the space, then when looking at something and wondering whether to take it then do so. It's a bit like carrying a toolkit or spares. If you've got them then you hardly ever need them. The time that you leave them behind is the time you're made to pay for that decision.

The most important item to consider is the Tent. You can't really attempt camping without one (although there are those who have been known to try). It's an interesting thing that out of a small bag, with some sticks and a few bits of string you can create a temporary home in which you can escape the elements in some degree of comfort – a nearby pub helps here, too.

Get a tent with a flysheet. They provide the first layer of protection from the rain while providing a layer of insulation, and if you get one with a porch then you can leave all those bulky items that you are forever tripping over outside - a groundsheet comes in handy here to keep things dry. You can also use the porch as a windbreak should you be cooking. This is better than attempting to cook inside the tent. A tent catches fire quite easily and you don't want to be inside should this happen. The results can be very nasty indeed.

A tent that doesn't require pegs is damn handy. Most dome tents and those new-fangled 'one touch' tents fall into this category. Apart from the ease at which they can be put up you can also have the added fun of watching everyone else trying to hammer bits of bent aluminium into the earth with little or no success. All things being equal, you should have the tea ready before they've managed to unbend their pegs - this will bring about great feelings of smugness on your part. These tents can also be picked up and moved around should you originally park it on an ant's nest or next to some great snoring Yorkshireman.

Even if you don't need pegs it's a good idea to put down a few guy-ropes in case the wind should pick up. I've seen folk tie one to their bike. Why, I've no idea. I suppose it would stop the tent blowing away, or perhaps it's to confuse really stupid bike thieves. Should you be tempted to try this, don't forget to untie one end of the guy-rope when you are going to pop out to the chip shop for your tea. Forget this and you will go down in MZ history as a living legend …of the pillock variety.

Avoid camping in hollows or on the topside of hills. The weather can change quite quickly and that nice burbling brook you are sat next to at tea could change into the raging Zambezi come dawn. Exposed sites can be very windy. Try for the lee of a hedge or wall. All quite obvious if you take a few minutes to sort yourself out.

An airbed has become a must. Some people prefer those foam mats on the grounds that they're lighter and easier to carry. An airbed, however, gives more cushioning, removes irregularities in the ground, and raises you several inches above the cold ground. This is important should you find your tent leaking. A more horrible experience than waking up to the gradual realisation that your sleeping bag is now cold, clammy and above all damp sponge is hard to imagine. If all fails, and the site becomes a swamp, then you, at least, are OK. Just paddle your airbed to higher ground.

This brings us to sleeping-bags. These come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and ratings. Best remember that you tend to get what you pay for. Don't expect a bag for a tenner from Woolworth's to do you any favours if it snows. On the other hand there is no need to spend a small fortune if you only plan to use it occasionally in the summer. The most important thing to remember when thinking of getting a new sleeping-bag is never let your mum pick one for you. This will result in you getting something in nylon with a pretty pattern on it. It will, when folded, be the size of a Goldwing outfit and be totally lacking in the keeping-you-warm stakes. Best go to a camping shop. If in doubt, ask someone who goes camping regularly and doesn't look as if they enjoy too much physical discomfort. I know that this might prove difficult amongst a group who wear too much black studded leather by choice, but you never can tell.

So, you've got your tent pitched, the airbed inflated and all your stuff sorted, now for something to eat. Should you forego the pub lunch then you'll need a stove, if only to brew tea. There are some nice little petrol stoves around now, as well as the traditional gas powered ones. Most are too slow to really 'cook', what they do is re-heat stuff. You can load yourself down with tins of beans etc. or, if a little more adventurous, cook up something like chilli at home and put it in the freezer in a tub, or a freezer bag. By the time it comes to eat at the camp-site it will, hopefully, have de-frosted. Be the envy of all of your friends by cooking really nice stuff to do this with then refusing to let anyone else have some. "Let them eat beans!", you cry.

Don't forget a mug, knife, fork, spoon and a plate. It's hard to be smug sucking food out of the pot. It's worth sticking a pot-scourer into your kit as well. They don't take up much space and mean you get to use your pot more than once.

If you are cooking on a stove then take a spare gas cylinder. If you can't remember how much is left then you can be assured that it will run out after about a minute. This will mean all our carefully prepared plans at self-sufficiency go straight out the window and you will have to buy food from the pub. This cuts into your beer money and will never do. Oh, and don't forget the matches and a can-opener should you plan to use tinned food.

Remember, they sell the same kind of food, from the same chains of supermarket all over the country. Why load yourself down by taking it with you. Just run into the nearest town and stock up. A much more sensible approach.

You can also be a bit adventurous and take salt, pepper, cooking oil etc. The little black tubs that you get rolls of film in are ideal for this. They are free, airtight and waterproof. But remember, be careful where you pack food. Should it spill you don't really want it all over your nice new sleeping bag or over your spare socks.

From the stomach to the head. Get a hat (traditionalists recommend a bobble-hat). Even in summer it can get damn cold at night in the open. The old adage about losing heat through the head may be so much cobblers, but it pays to be prudent. Two other essentials are a knife and a torch. Sooner or later you will find a use for both. Keep some spare batteries for the torch and the knife is probably best left somewhere deep inside your kit where Mr. Policeman isn't going to have to notice it and do something unpleasant. If you wear glasses then find somewhere safe for them so they don't get rolled on in the night. Some tents have handy little pockets sewn into them (but remember to take them out before packing your tent away in the morning, unlike someone who shall remain nameless).

It can be small things that make the difference between a pleasant experience and an intolerable ordeal. Like bringing your helmet inside the tent at night, rather than leaving it upside down outside in the rain. Like remembering to bring a toothbrush and some Aspirin. Even if you can't shower in the morning, cleaning your teeth, washing your face and getting rid of last night's hangover will make the world seem a much nicer place, especially if you've got a long trip ahead of you.

There are doubtless a hundred other things that could be mentioned. Trial and error will serve you best, but the most critical item that you can take is money, and plenty of it. With a pocketful of cash, if the worst comes to the worst - and it sometimes does - you can always slope off to a B&B. Some folk skip straight to this bit and avoid camping completely. This is a bit suspect and they get talked about in the pub.

 Happy Camping Check list/useful items.